ILikeLimes

Sorry, there’s no mommy bloggers here.

Craig — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:02:44 +0000

Over the past few days, I’ve learned that if there’s anything awkward about being a 21-year-old gay man with a mother who isn’t entirely capable of wrapping her head around the whole ‘dick in butt’ thing, but is otherwise accepting, it’d probably be telling said mother that you’ve set a date for your wedding. To your BOYFRIEND.

You know, the one who’s dick you let be put in thy butt.

Saving myself the torture of having to fight against the desire to jam my finger in my eye socket and swirling my brain around inside my skull immediately after I had placed the call, I opted to send her an SMS. That’s how we talk about difficult subjects in our family. We rely on the comfort of our BlackBerry’s and iPhones.

This was the response I got:

WHAT? THAT’S IT? YOUR SON TELLS YOU HE’S SET A DATE FOR HIS WEDDING AND ASKS IF YOU’LL BE A PART OF THE DAY AND THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!

Oh wait, right, the dick in butt thing.

Sometimes I contemplate if she’d benefit from knowing the story about how, this one time (at band camp) (but not really), when I was sixteen, I had a pregnancy scare with a girl (classy, right?) – just so she feels some sense of normality at the prospect that her son wasn’t always such a Madonna fanboy.

BUT SERIOUSLY. Dick in butt, you guys!

Oh and, PS: If you didn’t catch on already – Eddward and I have set a date for our wedding. It was pretty romantic, in my opinion, at least. I woke up after a nap and he’d spent 2 solid hours mapping out all of our friends birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar, not to mention public holidays and conflicting possibilities, so that we could unanimously decide.

Don’t you just want to squeeze him?

And, y’know, let him put his dick in your butt?

Blind leading the blind.

Craig — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:26:19 +0000

I’m always engulfed with glee whenever someone passes comment on Eddward and I’s relationship and it’s “quirky”, “abnormal”, or “different” qualities. The nurturing side of me always wants to sit the person down for a long overdue talk that entails a strongly brewed cup of coffee and a pamphlet entitled, ‘We’re weird. We get it. You don’t have to pretend you didn’t notice’.

My relationship is weird, though. Hell, 80% of it entails feces and fart related jokes alone.

Suffice to say, if you don’t know us in real life and want some real insight into our time spent together, I offer you this video of Eddward trying to catch spots before his eyes, after looking at a lamp for too long:

Or, how about this one of him making Gorilla shadow puppets:

And that’s why I love him.

Spunk is back.

Craig — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:34:32 +0000

Feel free to register and join in on the fun.

All that sparkles.

Craig — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:57:50 +0000

I’ve had a little bit too much
All of the people start to rush, by
A dizzy twisted dance

Just dance
Gonna be okay
Been here before, just dance
Spin that record babe
Loud on the floor

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth
I let you turn me inside out
Roses have thorns they day
And tonight we’ll dance away the pain

And again.

Craig — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:38:03 +0000

Sincerest apologies, readers.

It would appear, that throughout everything – the one thing I can be depended upon, is to entirely delete all of my blogs entries, without fail, every few months.

I don’t know why I keep doing this.